Rabbi Loren Sykes
As the sun sets on 5786, I want to share a story of deep love, committed Zionism, missiles from Iran, and a rescheduled wedding that I officiated at two weeks ago. It is the story of Jennifer and Tomer, shared here with their permission.
“Rabbi Sykes, we want you to officiate at our wedding at the end of March. Will you still be in Israel?” the couple asked excitedly during a WhatsApp video call.
“I will still be in Israel, and it will be my honor and privilege to officiate. I will do anything for the two of you.”
While Jennifer and her family adopted me and my family when we moved to Atlanta in 1996 to establish Camp Ramah Darom, it was my first time meeting Tomer. I felt an immediate, brotherly connection with the chatan, the groom. The love and joy the couple felt for one another were palpable, jumping off the screen from across the Atlantic Ocean all the way to Jerusalem!
Tomer was supposed to meet Jennifer for the first time in the US in October 2023, right after 10/7. Their first date was canceled for obvious reasons. Months later, when Jennifer visited Israel, they went on their first date.
Skip ahead a year: Tomer proposed in Israel, specifically in Yaffo, and Jennifer said yes. While they had to settle details like the date, venue, type of music, and more, one thing was non-negotiable for the couple: the wedding had to take place in Israel! Plans were made, finalized, and everyone was ready to come to Havat Ronit, Ronit Farms, near Herzliya to celebrate when missiles flew from Iran toward Israel; all flights were canceled, and the wedding had to be postponed. While rescheduling, many people thought the couple would get married in Atlanta. That was not going to be the case.
Why was holding the wedding in Israel so important to the couple? There were obvious reasons for both Tomer and Jennifer: Tomer was born in Israel, and Jennifer’s family adopted every Israeli who worked at Ramah Darom and regularly visited Israel. However, there were deeper, more meaningful reasons for this choice. Here are Jennifer and Tomer in their own words:
Jennifer: People have asked since I was a kid whether I would marry an Israeli. I always answered that I didn’t find one, but that I always felt Israeli! So much of our story runs through Israel. It mattered to me to find someone for whom Israel meant as much to them as it means to me.
Tomer: Israel is part of each of us individually, part of our faith, part of our identity, and now very much part of our story and of how we met. You cannot really have one without the other.
Jennifer: When the wedding was canceled, the first question people asked, and they were asking it even before, was why we could not just marry in Atlanta, mostly because they want to come and cannot easily get to Israel.
Tomer: Something feels wrong about not getting married in Israel. Even if it were only the two of us at the wedding, that is what we would do.
Jennifer: A lot of my friends are already married, so we are on the later side. And I thought, if I can use my wedding as a reason to get people to Israel, that matters. We could get married alone on a mountain, and it would count. But if we can use this to gather people in Israel, and people will actually come, the weight of that is worth it.
Sadly, we live at a time when many Jews are nervous about encountering hatred and violence simply because they wear Jewish symbols like a Magen David necklace, or are afraid to dine at Jewish or Israeli restaurants lest they be accosted with anti-Jewish and anti-Israel slogans. It is also a time of limited, if not almost non-existent, travel to and tourism in Israel. Facing the choice between holding a rescheduled wedding in Atlanta or Israel, Jennifer and Tomer chose Israel because they saw this as more than an exchange of rings. For them, it was an uncompromising statement of commitment to and love for Am Yisrael, the People/Citizens of Israel, and the State of Israel. Their wedding was the embodiment of the last of the Sheva Berachot we recite under the chuppah:
מְהֵרָה יְיָ אֱלֹהֵינוּ יִשָּׁמַע בְּעָרֵי יְהוּדָה וּבְחוּצוֹת יְרוּשָׁלָיִם קוֹל שָֹשֹוֹן וְקוֹל שִֹמְחָה, קוֹל חָתָן וְקוֹל כַּלָּה
May it be your will, Adonai our God, that there will soon be heard in the cities of Judah and the streets of Jerusalem the voices of joy and gladness, the voice of the groom and of the bride.
As we enter the New Year, 5787 …
May we be blessed to see peace blossom in the deserts of the Middle East.
May Israel continue to flourish as a Jewish and democratic state in the spirit of the Megillat HaAtzma’ut, the Declaration of Independence.
May we see Masorti Judaism flourish and impact more and more lives throughout Israel.
And may we dance, sing, and celebrate many more weddings in Israel with brides and grooms like Jennifer and Tomer who place Israel at the center of their most joyful moments.
Shana Tova!
